why we’re *not* moving
and how I handled it 🤡
… it’s all fun and games until, well… LIFE HAPPENS.
Back in May, I told all of you guys that we were moving. I donated all of my winter clothes to Goodwill… it was official. At least, I thought it was 😑.
There isn’t a huge story behind why it’s not happening. The best way I can describe it is: life really throws you some curve balls, doesn’t it?
Moving across the country is a big decision. I should know, I kinda did it (ie: Katrina’s New York Era). But one thing anyone will tell you is: you just have to do it. It’s always going to be scary but it’s something you have to go into, head first.
Keith and I are very focused on our careers. We don’t [plan] on having a family, so our careers are our babies (and our family of Frenchies, of course 🐾). We are JUST getting started. To put it simply, once push came to shove, it wasn’t financially smart [for us] to move. There are two reasons why:
1. Florida is EXPENSIVE (right now)
“Rent in Tampa & St. Pete skyrockets past Chicago, Philly, Austin”
Tampa’s May rent 18th most expensive in US, tied with Nashville
And where did we want to move? St. Pete or Tampa of course!!! Oy vey 🤦🏼♀️. We all know I have… expensive taste. I like what I like (sorry NOT sorry)!
Let’s be real, I’m dating someone who showed me what high-rise living is all about 🤪. Our options were going to cost us $5k+ a month! And that’s for a SMALL two bedroom! I was having a hard time justifying leaving my favorite city in the 🌎, for something more expensive but less nice.
Florida is one of the best states to move to right now, but it’s also the third most expensive 🫣. So, I figure that we can ALWAYS move to Florida in a couple of years — or have a house there for the winters 😌.
2. Keith got an amazing business opportunity.
I am so happy for him. Things are still being worked through, but I know so many great things are to come 💓. Moving to Florida now, would mean him walking away from a [potential] big opportunity, which is something I would never be able to ask of him. Nor would I want him to!
But don’t get me wrong… I’m finally ~ just now ~ writing about this because it has taken a long time for me to understand, wrap my mind around, and accept all of this. Like the lack of communication from him and donating 3/4 of my closet 🤡.
Now that we’ve covered WHY we’re not moving to Florida, let’s get into how I handled it. Because it was… poorly to say the least
** insert: nervous laughter ** .
Communication: is the second most important aspect of any relationship of mine. First being, trust. Communication is something that I will ALWAYS be working on and I think that can be said about any relationship (friend, parent, family member, boss, partner, etc.).
Once there was an expectation of us moving, I had a hard time accepting that all the sudden…it wasn’t. I also had a hard time knowing that I was making this move mainly for my partner (70% for him 30% bc I was looking forward to a change) and now that it wasn’t happening, I somehow felt… disregarded.
I overly communicate. Keith doesn’t. Usually we can meet somewhere in the middle, but this time, it just didn’t work that way. He could have told me sooner and I could have given him some grace. Two months later, we finally were able to talk it through without it ending in slammed doors 😁. But I am so grateful for all of the conversations (the good, bad & ugly) because… life is hard. We don’t get to pick and choose. I wouldn’t want to be going through all of this with any one else 🫶🏼.
All I want moving forward, is to get to the “easier” conversations sooner and the bad & ugly ones, to a minimal (but I AM A WORK IN PROCESS OKAY?!).
There are other things I could get into like the both of us needing to work on: listening better, letting things go, words of affirmation, respect, trust, etc. But that’s just what a relationship is — and although this was a difficult 8(ish) months, it’s going to happen again. It’s just about making it easier, less stressful and more peaceful than the last.
That’s it for now.. thanks for following, ilysm 💌
